Wednesday, 18 May 2011


Tech Support: What is your User Name?

Customer: John Smith.

Tech Support: (searching for user name johnsmith to no avail) that's your user name, your login? The one your account uses?

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: So, John Smith is the user name for your account?

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: .. (search for customer account by last name, find a million Smiths.. finally finds account.) We have your user name listed as "wolf231".

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: Not John Smith.

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: ...

Tech Support: What error message are you getting?

Customer: I'm not getting an error, it just won't connect.

Tech Support: Nothing comes up when you try to connect?

Customer: Nope, nothing happens at all. It doesn't say anything.

Tech Support: .. and nothing appears on the screen whatsoever?

Customer: Nope.

Tech Support: Well.. What happens to lead you to believe that it isn't working?

Customer: It says Error 691, User Name or Password ...

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Tech Support: Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

Customer: Ok.

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: Not at all.

Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click'

Tech Support: Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?

Customer: Yes. Oh man! I've done something stupid, huh?

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